Dopus Familiaris

The Common Idiot seem to be a special breed of human, the main different being their intelligence. The average IQ of an Idiot seems to be roughly room temperature, and depending on the individual or sub-breed of Idiot, the season in which the temperature or the room was taken varies. Most are around autumn IQ, as far as I can tell.

Metaphors aside, the Common Idiot are, as their dubbing suggests, very common. More so than the average American, and much more so than their close relatives, the Dopus darwinis, or the Darwin-Award Idiot. These Idiots are rare, as most of them have been eliminated because of their sheer stupidity.

They range in size and skin tone, and there are several specific divisions between the light-skinned and dark-skinned, and genders. They mostly accept each other, though outside their own genus they are horribly aggressive and will rarely tolerate other species for very long.

Because of this intolerance, I have only been able to observe from a distance. Nevertheless, I have been able to identify several behaviors common throughout the genus.

The mating call and the mating dance, as with many bird species, differ between the males. They display, and the flashiest and most interesting display gets the female's attention. To my perspective, these displays are only attractive to the same genus, but then again I could be wrong.

During the period during the day when the greatest variety of Idiot are seen - lunch - I have made a few interesting discoveries. Near the end, some Idiots break out into bouts of screeching, or applause. 'Screeching' is the most apt term I have found for the sound. It is not a scream, nor a yell, nor a squeal. It is definitely a screech.
As yet I have not been able to pin down exactly why these domino screeches or applauds as I call them occur, I have not even been able to identify the individuals who start it. It is a domino effect, because when one starts the rest follow. I get the distinct impression that few
who join the domino screech or applause even know what the cause is.
I have been able to identify the gender(s) involved. The females of the genus screech, while both genders applaud. More males than females applaud, I am inclined to believe.
I did notice that during the first bout of domino applause I witnessed today that a small group of females stood and appeared to bask in the applause; I doubt it was actually directed at them, but I am not at all surprised. This behavior is common throughout the genus.

The dark-skinned breed seem to gravitate towards rap music, which to my ears is just an individual chanting unintelligibly with a background rhythm thrumming underneath. Nevertheless they prefer this music, with the lighter-skinned breed gravitating either toward the rap, or in the area I have studied, country. Though I am not completely sure, country has never struck a chord with my ears either, pun intended.
The dark-skinned males prefer 'tall tee' shirts and pants whose crotches often fall to about knee-level. The females seem to wear tight-fitting clothing that show as much bare skin as possible.
Some of the light-skinned breed dress in a similar fashion, though outside that group the mode of dress is much more varied.

All in all the Dopus familiaris is a fascinating genus to study, if irritating at times.
More information as I gather it. Until then, peace owt ch'all.

Introduction to Dopus Familiaris

In my career as a high school student, I have come upon many instances of a creature I have named Dopus familiaris, also known as the Common Idiot. They exist in many shapes and forms, though the individuals I have studied are the adolescent and more volatile, as far as I can tell, Idiots.

I have accumulated a fair amount of research and I plan to post it here for posterity. And possible fame.

I will, in the following posts, explain my discoveries about the ways of the Dopus familiaris, as much as I have been able to gather. I will end up changing, and certainly adding to my reservoir of research, so if you are interested in my work please check back regularly.